sigh

sighh..

nagging feeling that everything is not going right..
well.. its isn't.. how could it..
ah well.. have to rethink some things..
or shud i say many things..
y is this happening?


wad are my priorities n0w?
sch?j0b? np? m i sure of all this?
no i'm not... really wish to stop everything..
right now... but can i?
without any regrets at all? hahaha
definitely n0t!!!
wad to doo wad to do...


s0 much effort was put it in for less than 10 mins worth of attention..
almost 2 mths of preparation..
endless drill sessions..
might have been imperfectly done..
but nontheless, wonderfully done!
well done t0 one n all!
nth is perfect..
take pride in knowing that u did your best!


n0w its g0nna be a rat race..
to be called the best..
but i just wonder..
wad's d point in knowing all u need to know..
if u dun have the passion to want to know?
is this all there is?
memorising things till its perfectly in ur head?
wad's d point of it all? tell me wad's it all f0r?


wad's in a rank? its just something on your shoulder..
to make your uniform look nicer maybe..
to show your capability.. your strength..
to earn respect..
but its sad isn't it..?
that u need to depend on that one thing on your shoulder to get the respect u need..?
but that's how things seem to be now..
d only motivation to go further..
is d additional silver thread embroidery on the shoulder..
wad a sad world..


wadever happened to one for all, all for one?
d never say die spirit?
did it....... finally perish?
i really hope not..
i have demolished something..
its very hard to rebuild everything again..
i can try but.. there's no guarantee..
sorry to whoever understands..


ok.. sad entry..
hahaha.. but was too into the thinking mood..
n i probably think too much..
regreting a great many things rite n0w.. but..
its kinda t0o late n0w don't u tink? hahha..
0h well... colour my days grey...
tho silver wud be perfect.. but.. nth is perfect rite?
lalalalala..~