taboos...

i watched a documentry last nite on taboos and it got me thinking.. well for starters it was on the very uncommon things that pple, often younger generation, do to prove themselves or the 'rituals' they consider to show them becoming an adult..

the first was about suspension.. basically people go to a certain place to suspend themselves in the air by hooks.. those featured in it said they got a real sense of satisfaction and peace after doing it.. now why is this suspension considered taboo? well because pple hang by hooks and these hooks are actually pierced into their skin.. so when they hang, they're literally hanging by their skins with blood oozing out every second!

the second one was about scarification.. for the benefit of those who don't know what it is.. its kind of like getting tattoos.. tattoos are done using ink rite.. well this is done using a scalpel.. they get designs drawn on them first and after that, the skin is scraped off so that there'll be a scar after the bleeding stops.. apparently it takes up to a year for some of these scars to heal and have the effect the customers want... but pple are willing to go thru it.. even though it is done without anasthetic. imagine.. u lie there on a table and let a guy with no medical training scrap 1/3 of the skin on your leg off so you can have a pretty everlasting scar.. amazing..

next up in the show was something called modifications done in the name of being unique.. it featured people who had beads, metal parts, buttons and all sorts of things inserted into their body to give a unique pattern.. there was this lady who had tattooed her body to resemble a cow.. and then she got the body piercer to make 3 holes in her chest so that she could have 3 metal buttons inserted.. once again it was done without anasthetic.. watching her grimace in pain as her flesh was twisted and turned was nothing compared to what came next..

showmakers usually save the best for the last.. so here it is.. split tongues.. kinda like a snake's tongue.. pretty simple to get it actually.. just cut it up.. easy to say but so darn hard to watch it being done!! the guy getting it was just 19 and his parents were actually supporting his decision.. so off he went to his fellow body piercer to cut his tongue in two.. n yes u guessed it.. this was done without anasthetic by an untrained person too... his girlfriend held his tongue and the 'surgeon' used the scalpel to saw it back n forth down the middle.. at the end of it all.. u see the guy smiling and spitting pools of blood into a cup and drinking water.. he even stuck out his tongue at the camera for the world to see

that was what i saw on discovery channel last nite while scanning for things to watch.. an hr long publication to try and get people to know the taboo interests of others around us.. somehow after watching the show, tattoos seem like some very minor thing to get..

its really interesting 'though grusome' how we need to have something to test ourselves with.. all of these practices originated from long ago in tribes of our ancient forefathers apparently.. they used it as a ritual to symbolize the coming of age for the young boys of the tribe.. one who has not gone through it was not considered a man as yet. in a way you could sat that there was no way of escaping it.. but now at time when such practices are considered barbaric or disgusting, there are people searching for an opportunity to do it.. maybe we have not let go of the past yet.. or maybe its just a way to show that we are still as strong and able as the people who lived way before us.. or maybe its just a drastic way to tell ourselves that we can do extraordinary things and pain is nothing compared to the human mind.

whatever the reason may be.. i am definitely enlightened by what i saw.. thought of putting some pics here to show what was shown but its too graphic and bloody.. something like nip tuck but just that it is 100% real.. if the human mind and body can endure such illustrous torture then everyday problems would be considered nothing at all..

"the power and endurance we have is unknown even to us until we unleash it"

lucky november =)

wow.. its been more den a yr since i started blogging.. i'm surprised i'm still using it.. hehehe...

i m loving this mth of november!! i duno y but it jus feels great.. n i have been lucky!! ok who am i kidding it has just been one week.. but its one of the best week i've had recently...

well for starters i haven had anything bad happening recently... which in itself is a great thing considering the kind of bad moments i've had d past mth!! my darling com's working again after nearly a mth in hibernation.. n i went for the .38 finals on sat which had the most unpredictable results..!!! n then there's the hk trip coming up as well... n oh yes!! d show i went to...! wow.... i lurve dis mth!

the .38 finals was only for the top CIs and WCIs and officers for the team n stuff... i din really bother bout it somehow cos i was horrendous in d prelims!! got my worst score ever... but den again.. dat was oso because i totally forgot bout the timing thingy... left a few bullets unused.. darn!! but it all din matter cos i won d finals!! hahahahaha its d first time i ever bothered to take part in the competition n i actually ended up with the challenge trophy... wow! is that lucky or what? i guess part of the reason why i did well was the fact that i din even think of it as a comp.. when there's no pressure to win.. the fun factor sets in.. n that's when pple seem to do well.. so listen up pple... stop pressurising urself.. jus be happy n u can do it!! yeah!

hk trip... i duno much details bout it yet so nth to say i guess..

now d show i mentioned jus now.. it was just a deepavali show that's held every yr.. it was alright i guess.. but there was this one element there that made me so interested... so cute so likable... i realise now that i've started to do stuff i've never really bothered with before.. its to be expected i guess.. but i'm surprised at myself nonetheless.. n yes i do like the change..! i'm trying to think of a way to go the distance but dun noe how to.. i need to change a part of me.. i need to get back some of the people i've missed out in the passing of years.. hope my luck stays with me on this..!

to all those pple dying with all d studying... jiayou!!

good luck pple

this is going out to all those pple taking their 'A's and 'O's:

this is what you've been studying for for the past 12 or 10 years.... you can do it!! jia you pple!!

esp sticky gel! thaya! zakiah! sec 4 06.. and all those whom i din mention

finally over

phew.. atc is finally over...!!!

its like nothing i've ever been to before...

shan't elaborate more on it.. just very glad its over...!

but the funny thing was that i survived on very little food and water and sleep the entire camp and wasn't sick.. well its very normal for me not to eat at camps but it was strange cos i fell ill after the camp! i tink i was too used to ubin water that after i drank very clean water i was vomiting the entire nite through... gosh... horrible man... next time i shud drink only singapore water in camps... area 3 atc coming up soon..

happy birthday!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!

made him blow out relighting candles..! bwaahahaha and go look for hidden stuff ard the house..!

enjoy urself! =)

deepavali

well well.. deepavali celebrations are over..

din do much.. oh i c0oked.. hahaha.. made c00kies beforehand..

i guess the fun of all big events is more of the preparations leading up to it..

i still remember the long hours of blowing balloons and sh0pping when we were organising pop for our NCOs in 2001.. filling the entire np room with balloons... buying all the ballons from at least 3 shops.. haha.. and talking bout balloons.. i kept blowing so many balloons with my cousins for my 5th birthday that i couldn't blow out the candles after that!! haha.. its when we spend the time together preparing that we have the most fun and best memories..

i miss my childhood.. its like now me n my bro.. we're too grown up to have fun doing stuff we used to do... darnn... its not fun being the youngest.. there's no one to do stuff for...


0h ya.. before i forget.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TINY MEANIE AND OOMPAH LOOMPAH!! i bet the 2 of them won't even know i'm refering to them.. hhahaa...

sad day..

tdy i met people i haven seen in ages.. by that i mean a few years...
met a few cousins and some of my aunts..
went to my uncle's place to pay my respects..
it was such a hard thing to do i have to admit..


i've been to a few funerals before and still have not gotten used to the cries and wails of pple.. but this was just so different. there's nothing that could have prepared me for the sight of the little child lying as still as a statue.. her little eyes wide open as if she hasn't seen enough of the world.. her mouth formed into a little pout.. a garland on her neck and her sobbing parents just nearby.. this was the first look i had of the child.. my cousin.. a baby jus over 3 months old.. it was heartbreaking. but somehow i couldn't bring myself to cry.. it seemed wrong..


the entire day that i was there i was pondering over the same things.. and somehow i guess my little cousin's had a life better den any of the people there.. so much better den mine as well.. she may have been lived for only 3 short months but the amount of joy she had brought to those ard her was immeasurable.. as i heard pple exchange their sweet memories they treasured of her, it suddenly hit me that it was an extraordinary thing to be able to do so much in such a short time.. esp when she couldn't talk, walk or even do anything..

i wonder... when one day... my life is over... will it e the same? i believe not.. the only thing humans need to make people happy is their smiles.. not their speech, not their money, not their achievements.. just their smiles and love. but its getting rare to see that now..


there's a reason for each of us to be on this earth.. whether its to bring happiness or to hurt pple whatever it is that we do.. life is never predictable.. till yest i never even knew i had a new cousin.. now i say goodbye and farewell to her...

darini.. you may have had a short time here but you've done what i would never be able to do.. making every single person happy and not having anything that you regret..

where ever you are.. be in peace knowing that you've touched so many people in this life... i've never met you but i won't forget you my dear cousin..

why is it so?

went for tuition with tamil tdy..

heard some news from him..

why is it down to this..?

why are people somethimes so wilful that sometimes its too late to regret what they do?

i just wish to go tmr... i want to see her..

Growing up

well well.. its horrible growing up... pri 3 kids are s0o0o0o0o00o much better den pri 4 ones... somehow its like when u grow up.. u become worse... eecckksss..

had a trip to terminal 1 terminal 2 n budget terminals today.. got a shock when i saw d budget terminal.. i mean jus because its budget doesn't mean it has to be that way rite? empty is alright with me.. but still... the smell... overwhelming... yucks.. i guess in a way that also sh0ws what singapore is like.. we are great n wonderful and amazing and are very advanced pple who live a very good life.. everything goes like clockwork and we are at the top of our lives.. then just like there is the budget terminal.. there is also the other group of pple.. who are sometimes forgotten or left to fend for themselves because the other sides are way better then this side.. pple who sometimes have nearly very little things to look forward to and it all seems bleak to them.. Funny how something as unalive as an airport can make out these kind of things.. i guess the things we look at are sometimes not that simple... its all about how we look at it..


in between taking the thousands of shuttle buses ard tdy.. also chatted with doreen... reminiscing about what we went through in our childhood... one thing that struck me was how important childhood actually was... its d foundation to the kind of people we become in the future... both of us had trauma in water... because of that we have a phobia of water even up to this date.. i guess mine would be more severe since i dont even dare open my eyes underwater.. and the only time i ever get my head under water is when i need to capsize my kayak... hahaha... being dropped into a 3metre pool when i was less than 1 metre tall didn't exactly do wonders for my water confidence level huh.. hahhaha..

children amaze me.. especially young infants and toddlers.. there's SO much to learn from them! they may be young and ignorant of the world and have not a care about what happens at all.. we may be adults and have more brains than them but no matter what we can never be of the same quality as them. put a child at d top of a high rise building with glass windows all around and you will see that he will be delighted to be running around and trying to peek out at what lies beyond those windows.. do that to an adult and there is a very high chance that he gets panicky after a while and doesn't dare to look out so often..

the younger we are the more mistakes we are likely to make.. maybe i shud change that to 'the younger we are.. the more mistakes we dare to make'... maybe its the stigma attached to being an adult that they shud be as perfect as possible.. i mean... lets take the example of clothes.. when a child wears a shirt and makes a mess on it.. does he care? of course not! to him its totally alright to have a 'tiny' mess on his own shirt.. the choice is his... n what would an adult do? if there's even the slightest stain on their shirt they would go running to the washroom and try their mighty best to get it off.. just a tiny blob of grease is enought to send someone into a reclusive shell for the rest of the day.. funny isn't it... to a child... his shirt may be a mess of milk and dried cereal bits but he is still the king of his own world.. to an adult.. the tiniest blob of grease or chilli sauce can take over their day and make it all go down...



if that's the case... whats with all the talk about having more freedom after we grow up.. we talk about freedom yet we don't dare do things we would have done as a child... hmmm something to ponder on.. now now.. wipe ur tears.. i know its sad not to be a kid anymore...

eons n eons later..

well well.. eons n eons later.. i am gonna update again...

this blog is pretty dead... 0h well.. lalalala...


back to working at zenitant once again.. i couldn't refuse since it was faezah who called!! i din know she's coordinating there or i wud have been there so much earlier!! darrnn! well.. at least gott to work with her tdy n tmr as well.. hehe.. she's super amusing... my ex personal assistant n now turned boss.. hahahha..!

i cant stop smiling noww... pigeon knows perfectly why!! muhahahahaha!! whhheeeeeeeee!!! really glad to hear what they said.. really!! its pretty funny.. none talk much face to face.. yet on msn one is unrestrained.. on the fone the other is even more funny n absolutely adorable and yet another is laughter inducing in both mobile world and wireless world.. there is h0pe.. there always was h0pe... but now there is NEW hope.. hahaha.. yupp!


yongni says she owes me alot of treats!!!! wo0ooh0o0o!! actually not really... its not as if i did everything u noe pigeon.. u did a great deal more den what u think.. n of cos there's oompah loompah as well!! hahaha.. n in a way i was also helping myself wasn't i? so u could say it was for a personal gain as well ba.. yupppss... i m d one who owes you an ICE CREAM!!


what am i gonna be doing after this? hmmm... i duno... saf? spf? nie? degree? arrghhhh... ok i regret not doing well last time.. but den again... its not as if i have done h0rribly now... hehe.. its just me.. i just cant make up mind.. wads d hurry when i still have time to consider and slowly make my move...

whoops... no time to make any more move now.. gotta go catch my 40 winks if i wanna wake up for werk tmr.. changi airport again.. hua min kids.. pretty alright.. in fact super obedient!! i likee!! =D

sai kang warriors

well well.. became sai kang warriors again tdy.. for open house tmr...

fun in a way.. since we sit ard n do things and end up laffing alot..

got to know more bout a gong person.. who really resembles a cadet..

haha... i jus want to complain about one thing...

I NEED TO WEAR COURT SHOES TMRR!!!!!!

SIGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ouccchhh!!!!

i can forsee my aching feet n peeling skin le....

workk... darn..

i worked at home tdy..

how horrible.. i became d full time maid of the day..

i swept, mopped, wiped, washed clothes, hang it out to dry n cooked...

MY MY!! dats a lot of work!! actually i did it cos i was suddenly too bored at home d entire day..

its actually quite fun when u have d whole house to urself n u get to blast d music n do what u want.. even doing chores seemed fun.. hahaha

rain rain come again..

i lurve rain... esp if i can cycle or walk in it...

better still if its with good buddies..

like sticky gel... gui gui.. n even zak went along..

muahahahah..

drenched to d skin.. literally..

thank god for the fan in d toilet.. smart pple use the hand dryer.. smarter ones use d fan.. =)

dinner was very nice n warm.. cos everyone of us were cold hungry kids...

d snow ice after dat was even colder but still great...!

miss having such funny times with gui n sticky gel.. i realise its actually quite rare for so many of us to go for dinner or something.. its usually with gui, or sticky gel or salabina..

sighss.... waiting for dec...

jia you santa!! u can do it!! christmas is waiting for u.. finish everything n get going for ur cookies!! =D

tests n more tests..!

omg!! i m laffing my head off!! HAHAHAHAHAHA

yongni is called STICKY GEL from now on!!

according to a test.. she was an angel..

ni angel=nian gel
nian=sticky (in chinese)
therefore, ni angel= sticky gel!


wahahahha... i jus spent d past couple of hrs doings personality n weird weird tests with sticky gel.. hahaha.. i'm a phoenix, i tend to be an entertainer and i'm worrried bout my health? haha dats d weirdest part..

went for area 18 atc meeting on friday.. it was ok but i fell on d way there.. darn.. big purple bruise on my knee.. din go sentosa cos knee was swollen n stella sprained her ankle as well.. hope its better now..


i now realise y i do weird stuff like entertaining pple.. n singing n screaming.. muhahahha..


talked to some pple online after eons.. like teck long n yimei!! =D

disgusted at some.. leaving others to clear up after them.. depending on people for opinions is alright by me.. but if wad others say changes every single decision one makes den.. there's something wrong somewhere.. fronting something requires knowledge n commitment.. disgusted to see it missing nowadays... oh well...


wow.. latest test results: sticky gel is santa!! i m mrs claus!! wahahaha dis is funny man!

i love area 14..!

i now tink area 14 rox..

shant comment on why but i really have to say a couple of days in ubin changed my mind.. never have i disliked an officer so much before..


on the brighter side..
we had a choir there!!
so ke aii!!

the NPCCC..! short for National Police Cadet Corps Choir

made up of 16 marvellous singing voices of boys n girls from my land ex grp... they came to be because the rain didn't let them go out for the land expedition.. HAHAHAHA!! i miss themm!!
they sing really really well!! they deserve a treat from us..


that was d main fun part of the whole atc.. hhaahha
the kids made up for all d unhappiness there might have been..

n then there was kiwi sir and gang.. they cooked supper for us.. at d jetty.. c0ol.. d best kind of supper since there was a fishing show by them as well.. haha catch of the day was 1 small unknown fish, 2 huge seabass, 1 tiny tiny fish n 1 catfish.. hahaha.. great fun..

NATIONAL CAMP 2006!! withdrawal symptoms!!

back from nat camp 2006!! n i miss my darling B6!! n B5 as well!! in fact d whole BRAVO COY!!


i miss d whole bunch of u!!!


n salabina n yongni as well!!
got too used to seeing the 2 of u!!
n gui mei!!
n wen wen!!


totally enjoyed nat camp i have to say...
all thanks to my platoon, bravo n all d npcc peeps like shuyu, yvonne, amirah, 'adrianne', rizuan, mikemike, saleha, liyana xiangxun maam.. okay i'm like naming everyone out.... hahah

basically everyone...!! haha

totally went crazy during the camp.. hahaha.. poor cynthia n jie en din noe what to say.. hahahha never mind i made a deal with them not to say anything.. haha yea! hidayah was very sweet.. haha she kept saying bye at d end when she was with her ncdcc pple... arww.. din get to see juvina tho.. haha she's d one i nicknamed michille.. and den there's sexy legs... hahaha n ronald macdonald... n all d other guys.. hhahahha oh man i miss B6!

all those bunk checks to get them to sleep.. the last nite was d funniest..! one signature $30!! haha.. all complaining they were hungry... n asking for bedtime story n lullaby n info on guys n all sorts of things!! hahahaha. super cute!!


okay i seriously have withdrawal symptoms.. hahah in fact everyone as well!! looking forward to a gathering soon!! yaaayy!! :D

happy tree friends

my favourite character from happytreefriends.. the PURPLE one ... he's called TOOTHY!! =)

if only life could be a little like happytreefriends.. not the blood n gore n everything.. i mean the part where no matter what happens.. everything becomes back to normal in the next episode.. n look how happy they seem even tho its a bomb they are playing with.. might seem dumb to look at but well... not everyone can smile when faced with trouble..


a wonderful lesson from toothy: smile.. even in the face of trouble or danger..

i find myself looking and wishing for an undo button somewhere in life.. maybe its too much of staring into the com.. but i really wish to have such a thing.. where if i make any decision that i happan to regret alot, all i have to do is just press ctrl+Z and i erase all traces of things happening.. sadly there's no such thing.. maybe its good in a way too.. at least now we need to think of what we do and its consequences before just jumping in to do it.. but no matter what.. things happen.. n i really hate it when i get the feeling of wanting to reach out n try n press d undo button.. cos it means i screwed up again... darn...

Catching up..

to catch up with where i last left off..

well new batch took over.. hahaha.. guess i din realise the effect we actually have over them... heartwarming to see them going all in to achieve..

atc meetings have been happening faast n furious.. tempers have been flying even faster.. well... everyone has limits... people had better learn dat fast or things are gonna get ugly! n i'm going for area 18's one as well! hahah yeaahh!! fun!!

RELAX EVERYONEE!!

oh yaa! d hong kong jpc pple were great! wad can i say.. they are professionals at skipping.. hahah we on the other hand.. cannot make it! n omg.. the commanding officer at kampong java npc.. s0o c0ol! woooo0o!!


i just got stomach flu.. but i duno if i recovered yet.. darnn.. went to meeting on friday with it n i jus hope no one else got it from me.. esp doreen!! recce was.. wahahah.. fuunnn! Salabina can cycle now!! ahahhahaa... n we ended up scaring her on d bus with all d stories.. but i tink we were trying to scare ourselves.. hahahahah!!

been watching happy tree friends these couple of days due to boredom.. hahaha the psychotic mee.. muhahahaha.. =)


getting an irritatingly painful backache again... jus dat now its worse den before... SIGGHHH

Crescent NPCC - Sec 4's Passing Out Parade 2006

Mixed feelings about it..
One part of me feels happy for them since they are finally freed of all the responsibilities that had been holding them down all the while.. Yet another part feels kinda sad.. of course because we wont be working with them again.. I will miss my favourite group of smurfs.. Always looking rather happy and hurrying around getting things done.. Well.. no matter what, they have done an excellent job the past yr and they truly deserve the break.

Lemme recap what happened the event s leading up to the POP itself..

Starting form the previous day.. wed had class.. ermm.. was ok.. den went down to meet Ah Kong to settle the Queenstown rifles.. went HTA and laffed.. rushed back to Crez to teach drill cane stuff.. den went for atc discussion till 11pm.. we ended up singing national day songs in d end!! HIGHH~!! The books were finally ready..started sewing bits of it… Gave up at 5 am n went to bed satisfied to know that France had won Portugal 1-0!! Yayy!! Woke up at 9 to continue d sewing.. ALL THE WAY TILL early 3PM!! Thats like a total of 10 hrs sewing!! N I wasnt even done yet.. cabbed down to crez since the drill cane was with me.. was even sewing in the cab.. whats wrong with me man!! Still din finish.. had to squeeze all d CIs in np room n continue again.. Thx to mandy n thaya for helping too.. hehe tho thaya cannot make it n sewing!! Hahahah!! Spoilt child! Finally finished the books, the commenting n the essay writing for three of them.. hahaha.. the rest kept saying its biased.. but.. well.. jus have more to tell them.. yupp.. finished peiting’s one only while they having the self extended sqd talk outside the school..! special note to read at d end.. muahahah.. lets hope she gets it..!

The fancy drills was something Ive never seen before.. they did show me the salute before but it was jus so different seeing one person doing it and one whole sqd doing it..! on the whole.. simple yet solid.. nicee..~ they din throw the beret as I would have liked to see though.. then came the handing over ceremony.. pretty smooth.. no one burst out laffing unlike the previous day.. actually in my memory its the most different ceremony ever.. haha..

And so the day ended soon after.. with the end of this day came a whole new batch of people to carry on the duties… As I saw the smurf family tdy after everything.. I realized they have taught me much.. Possibly much more than I have taught them… As I bid them farewell and good luck, I also thank them for being who they were.. for never once giving up on themselves..


Thx to mandy tan I jus threw my face in front of yn’s GD!! Some guy keep msging in malay n asked weird stuff.. I cant believe what I saw on my msn screen!! So weird! Haahahahhaha


After all this typing.. I should probably stop n let my super sore fingers rest.. gotta go Police Headquarters tmr for the HKJPC visit.. thank god its in d afternoon! Den gotta go meeting at bukit merah.. den gotta go change jetty by 10pm.. staying in at campsite for the next day’s activities.. hohoho.. funn… =)


Well.. its been an extremely long post.. once again, thanks to all whom I have learnt something from.. which would be everyone actually.. especially a certain 5 pple.. looking forward to seeing familiar faces coming back in dec..


Happy POP'06

class...

wow.. one whole month has gone by.. a whole lot of things happened.. some happy n joyous.. some a little irritating.. some downright spiteful..

jus wrote in my diary.. after 2 yrs.. must say it feels relieving to pen ur thoughts and frustrations down.. finally getting it off ur chest..

there is class tmr.. or shud i say later in about 6.5 hrs time.. have to go n sleep for a while first.. n slowly trudge down to possibly the lowest point of my week.. d 4 hrs spent there could very well spoil my entire week.. but i'm looking forward to thursday cos i noe for sure i will have renewed energy on thursday for some reasons.. oh well.. i will write more after coming back from the 4 hrs of expectant torture later.. hopefully i'm still in a mood to type... =(

ADDICTED!!

i'm still listening to canon D Rock...
HAHA,... totally addicted to it for now..
http://youtube.com/watch?v=5Zn5OplT4Po&search=canon%20in%20d%20rock
go check it out if u like d song..

had trail with ailing earlier..
sometimes.. its amusing to see how childish people can get..
how defensive one can get when they are being scrutinised..
especially when they are adults..
and they do the same thing to those under them..
fighting over a wardrobe is acceptable if maybe u are a child..
but at that age... *shake head*
worse still to an extent that someone is going to be sacked from the job..
oh gosh.. total madness..

the talk in mac had me thinking..
what kind of leader is good?
or should i say better in terms of dealing with situations?


one is the friendly but firm n thorough person who makes sure everything is done and yet those doing it do not find it unreasonable.. she has my admiration and respect for she knows her stuff and yet does not unneccessarily order people around. and that word called thanks that shows her appreciation.. it shows what kind of person she is...

the other is thorough.. extremely extremely thorough.. to such an extent that no one listens anymore.. it could be called saving your back jus to make sure nothing was missed out.. but if it puts people off i wonder if it is even useful in the first place. sometimes more is not always good.. it might turn out to work against you... rank may be there but if it is always used to get things done.. den the respect is gone for the person and is only there for the rank..

then there's the other last n final one.. very brief and makes everything short and simple. good or bad? i don't know.. maybe being the opposite of long-winded wins some people over.. the lowest standing one of all three.. and perhaps also the one with the most loyal people (or at least comparable to the first one mentioned) it is definitely due to the friendly demeanor.. who wouldn't like to see a smile to brighten your day.. perhaps in the end, it all depends on where your smile comes from.. ur mouth.. ur eyes.. or ur heart.. n maybe itsy bitsy things that is done to make someone's day a little easier would mean a whole lot more to that person.. even its just stacking papers properly... or even jus stapling some crappy pcs of paper.. u may have people to help u.. but if u can do it yourself then why not just do it.. when someone is there to help it means they are there to assist you if the need arises... so there is totally nothing wrong with being self sufficient even if there are people ard to help u..


so what kind do i want to be?
E,L or A....?
i shall leave it open to choices..

the most fool proof way might be to leave your options wide open..
embrace anything and everything..
nothing is the best forever..
every dog has its day..
so will every man..
and everything in this world..
there will be a day when man
looks at the cockroach.. and says..
'WOW..! amazing!'
yup.. everything will have its day..


oh shoots...
have to be in sch in 6hrs and 17mins time..
1.5 hr of travelling time..
0.5 hr for getting ready..
0.5 hr to laze ard before getting up..
5 mins to listen to cannon d rock one more time..
that leaves me with...
3hrs and 42 mins to have a proper sleep..
20 mins will be gone for trying to fall aslp..
lalala... =D

Canon in D Rock!

Wowowowowowow…. I lurve d song!! Thx to Yongni for sending the link..! Been listening to it for the past hr…! Suddenly remembered how sally used to play it for me whenever we got to the piano in the mini-forum... so sweet… =)

Well my blog is dusty n cobwebby... haha... stuff has happened... jus dat I dun do any blogging recently... lemme recap...

Genting trip: funny trip... pple got stripped… pple got whacked... smeared with cake… n every one of us walked ard in our sleepwear… at 3am in d morning... got stared at by practically everyone! Its standard reaction considering that a few of us were wearing shorts... n me n Sebas weren’t even using our jackets! Haha oh n uncle tan (that is wad I called Kian Ruey the entire trip!) was very nice... he lent me his jacket for the entire trip cos I forgot mine... n he helped keep my wallet everytime too... haha... thank you uncle tan. D flying dragon was darn funny… roller coaster… well let’s just say we went a tad too many times till I even forgot that I had jus gone through the 360degree turn jus a few secs ago n asked gui mei why it wasn’t coming yet!! Hahha 0h n she enjoyed her bday…!! N all of us got showered on by fireworks... as in fireworks literally came falling on us. .darn cool... =) but a teeny weeny bit painful... haha...


CIBTC: missed one day becos of d trip... the one that I went for... hahahaha… it wasn’t like npcc at all!!! I’m a purple and orange n limegreen as well... wheee!! N proper dinner etiquette?! That was seriously the first time ever I heard of it for NPCC lectures!! Ahahhaha the grp’s a little quiet.. But there’s nothing time cant solve... reminds me of firefly... those were d days...


Others: been working with zenitant again since zhi yang called the other time.. Met 2 funny gals called sook fern n jia lin… very amusing people.. I wanna work in d zoo if I can… haha.. lesser chance of getting pecked by d birds.. sch.. going at an easy pace.. but d guy.. sigh.. he doesn’t every check his email on time!! Gosh!!


Upcoming: well more trails up for the week... in fact there’s one tdy... its pretty fun... esp when u have d little kids saying bye at d end of the day.. So heart warming... true calling? Maybe... still searching for it... 0h!! Can’t wait for Thursday... going down BBDC with yati n germz... hehe... bike... here I come!! My June is kinda booked.. Gonna die of exhaustion.. I will prob drop dead during unit camp.. 10 days of RC, a few days of break followed by 4 days of ATC, 3 days of NCOPC and 3 days of Unit camp… if anyone else wants to complain about being homesick I will personally poke their eye… kidding kidding.. Another bday spent away in NP activities.. booohoooohooooo…. Well I did have a choice... I chose it so I shall enjoy myself..!

woohoo..!!

finally back to civilization!
this course was waayyy better den D05..
not in d sense dat d trainees were better or wadever..
but rather i had fun doing the things i did..
d previous one.. was waiting for everything to come to an end..
now.. i am enjoying every moment..
maybe its because of something.. or someone..
maybe.. jus maybe..


armsdrills rulezz!
learnt stuff... fun stuff..
from d why guy..
haha..
polishing is apparently not dat easy as i have always tot it to be..
shooting is darn funn!!
n my aiming has improved!
162 over 200! yayy! pretty good..
considering dat d higest was only 180!!
darn fun! shall go in june for my second round of fun n treats!

pokey bunkies were funny..
amirah, pei en, bernice, ziqing,yanru n me...
one poke n all wud wake up..
haha.. not like d other bunk.. have to get whacked n slapped jus to wake up..!!

my passion in np has been reignited..
especially drills!!
who knew rifle drills could be so fun esp when done with an umbrella! hahahaha
dats d way its supposed be..!
reigniting my passion.. not killing it off like it did before!!
i dare to say i thoroughly enjoyed myself during those short 7 days of course..
hope to say d same after june...

okay its 3 am.. bewitching hr!! yongni go n slpp!! TATAA

To kill a chicken...

to kill a chicken...
just... sing a song...

eh ippo e tai tai ehhh yaaa...
hahhhahha.. d ways of killing a chicken...
brutal.. yet entertaining..
n amusing.. n attention seeking.. hahaha

i survived a day with just bout 3 hrs of sleep.
thats usual for me..
i survived a whole week with less den a total of 16 hrs of sleep!
dats tiring!!
no wonder gui n others say i siao...

passion is a wavering thing...
it comes n it goes..
but if something has to be done.. sometimes it has to be done whether or not d passion is there..
dats d hardest thing i guess..

promo is over!!
how i wish i can say that!!
its over for the girls but not for the rest!!
faints! 21st.. still gotta arrange for pple..
n conduct d tests...
sigh... its not looking good...
d guilt is one thing...
d irritation is totally another thing!
jus feel like complaining n complaining...
but well... i dun noe d story on d other sides either..
so shudn't be too mean..

guilt gives u nightmares..
nightmares with timings..
nightmares with drills..
nightmares with never ending drills till u awake.
with pple coming towards u..
perfection rite in front of u..
yet.. u can't do anything..

i find it very hard to reply..
how not to lie? n yet not break their hearts..?
hmmm....
does age have anything to with maturity?
does horoscopes have anything to do with what kind of a person u are?
or are they jus weird thinkings on our part?

something is going wrong with a group of people..
not too sure how to solve it yet..
jus hope it all turns out okay...
sighh.. i duno wad she did.. n dats d worst part..
absent for a week n suddenly d whole world like against her...
0h mannn!!!
good luck to her...

i realise i m taking things very easy these days..
which might not be too good..
but well.. its working out for me! hahahah
stella shud noe.. she keep saying i'm very positive..
maybe i'm just ignoring the bad part..
or maybe i'm jus choosing to look on d brighter side...
6 mths.. might not be too long.. but it might work out for me..
failure, people say.. is the first step to success..
is it really true?
if so... den why is it dat so many pple are not making it to where they want to be?
have they made so many steps for themselves that they refuse to step up anymore?
i wonder...

ah well..
my guideline to be smiley.. (for those hu replied saying they wanna steal my positivity!)
haha

1. Chill!!
2. Relax..
3. Dun get too worked up..
4. if u fail in 3, jus dun stay worked up for too long..
5. Do something because u enjoy it.. boredom kills d fun in everything
6. Complain bout small things.. it lets u have fun.. n destress by whining..
7. Never complain bout big things.. it kills ur youth.. n usually nth gets changed anyway..
8. Find inspiration in things and people ard u.. u will need it sometime soon...
9. Watch cartoons or comedys.. they make u laugh n let u look at things differently...
10. relax ur muscles and smile... it will come naturally if u do 1 to 9 consistently.. =)


okie dokie.. dats all folks.. gotta catch 3 hrs of slp at least or i will seriously faint soon!

mee d millipede!! =)

i lurve my nick!!

mee the millipede!!

so cute! haha

campcraft comp dis sat..
mixed feelings..
can i not go?
den i slp till 11am..
den i get d results..
haha.. pleeaasseeee.....?

had a briefing for friday's trail..
met a gal called wei ling..
quite funny chatting with her..
where do these pple get so much time from man!
thank god it was esther and not lena..
if not i will puke faint n die..

went gym with gui tdy..
hahaha..
dysfunctional arm..
exercising makes me well.. hungry..
but by the time i get near food.. i'm sleepy..
hu is d smart alec who says exercise gives u more energy?!

i'm getting old...
physically..
arthritis is plaguing me..
0h my aching arms..
n did i mention d toothache?
sigh...
d woes of the human body..

been walking alot these days..
usually walk to tiong from crez..
or walk home from jurong point..
which is pretty long.. bout 16 stops i tink..
dis week i walked from jurong east to boon lay..
not cos i had no $$.. haha
its cos i was too impatient to wait for the bus..
but hey... its great exercisee!!

changes are acceptable..
but not drastic ones like these..
wads the point of being there when u r pretending to be invisible?
ah well.. some things never get into some brains n some heads..

np day tmr followed by meeting up with the gals from CSS..!
after like eons n eons..
sleepy.. after dis afternoon's activities..
becoming a panda soon le..
this is millipede signing off..
squirms!

tagged..

apparently stella tagged me eons ago.. but well.. haven been to her blog for ages either.. hehe

since i'm bored now.. here goes..

Four Jobs I've had:1)intern at NUS University Cultural Centre 2) nite owl at seagate after 'O's 3) sticker peeler with stel at some company after 'O's too.. recommended by a guy called dino.. 4) trail leader for zenitent..

Four movies I could watch over and over again:
1) Memoirs of a Geisha 2) Hero 3) Finding Nemo 4) Notting Hill

Four places I've lived in:1) Boon Lay(when I am so so tiny n couldn't chew a thing...) 2) Bukit Batok.. near keming pri.. 3)Clementi( my aunt's place) 4)Jurong West extension(current place..)

Four TV shows I love or loved:1)Friends 2)desperate housewives 3)Charmed 4)CSI

Four places I've vacationed:1) malaysia.. 2) China.. when in sec 1.. 3)India.. when in primary sch.. 4)Vietnam.. if i'm not wrong..

Four of my favorite dishes:1) crab.. dats y so crappy. 2)pasta 3)pizza..?.. 4)porridge cos i dun need to chew so much! =)

Four sites I visit daily:1) my lamey frog email.. 2) my yahoo email.. 3) yahoo groups for np stuff updates.. 4) mofunzone.com... go play games!

Four places I'd rather be right now:1) at a beach relaxing with my feet in d water.. 2) at a rooftop of a pretty high buliding gazing at stars.. 3) cycling in d middle of a road with cars zooming past me at both sides.. 4) in an igloo in antartica..

Four bloggers i wanna tag1) 2) 3) 4)

well.. no one comes here.. plus shan't go bully pple.. =D if u r bored den please feel free to imagine ur name in all blank spaces..


oh gosh.. i'll be seeing n dealing with yishun pri kids in less den 12 hrs.. den again.. in bout 12 hrs its already over! wheee!! easy peasy $ hahahha.. all contributed my cab funds.. as usual..

happy happy happy....

happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happyhappy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy








being happy when u are doing something definitely has its benefits i guess!
sat was flying fox.. illegally done for d 3 of us but it was fun..
din realise richard was there.. haha.. he looks alittle older..

den sunday was career fair..
went with rose, miss heng n ade..
rose was late.. HAHAHAHAHA!!!
alot of laffing.. n reminscing bout sec sch days..
all d boy bands.. all dat pastamania's fault..
i wanna double major in psychology n humanities..
its being offered in monash.. cool.. funn..
tried looking for english stuff but its for those hu cant speak d language and wanna improve themselves.. haha
cheated..
spf? nie?
duno duno.. haha.. pple are deciding for me..
ah well.. i shall leave it till later..
helped out in qian's shoot till 11pm..
n we stood ard again..! after a 2 yr break! haha
old habits die hard!

tdy went for dialogue session at hta..
went correct room n saw commandant n fis and everyone else.. hahaa
they changed room..
had fun.. freaking cold but miss zachia low was good.. haha
she has d same pattern as mr lim tho.. keep asking for ans in one particular direction
she said cc results were out dis morning..
whee
whee
wheeeee
wheeeee
wheeeeeee


did i mention i was happy? haha was smiling in d bus.. even if nth happens i'm happy for what we have now.. yeah!! =D

its called being satisfied..

haha..

went for briefing tdy..
but dat ziyang gave d wrong date!!
#@$#@$#@$#$!@#$%^^%$#@!@#$%^*%$#@!
jus sat there waiting cos of lena.. irritating..
den he finally realised it was wrong date
o_0"
esther was d best.. she still is d best!
she gave me d notes n gave a run tru n
declared dat i've attended d briefing.. HAHA
pri 5 kids.. shud be alright i hope...
better den tao nan definitely..

okay. shall go sleep.. have meeting tmr..
at khatib.. so far... very far...
but i'm still happy.. =)

nothing short of incredibly marvelous!

i m amazed!
amazed at d strength of a person's will..
the lengths pple can go to jus to achieve something..


prelims for the CC 2006 is over.. finally..
sec 3s and 4s were brilliant!
sec 3s made their mark.. congrats to them
sec 4s.. fate intervened in their tying..
but they were an amazing picture of steadfastness to me!
so many troubles.. so many last minute changes..
so many things to deal with.. so many pple to deal with..
so many pple falling sick.. yet they trudged on..!
they did their best and that is what matters.
leaving the field with no regrets knowing that u have done your best out there..
that is the spirit! great job!!
both captains grew alot..
one learnt to push pple a bit more..
the other learnt to bring up a fallen team to its feet again.
absolutely brilliant!

'sorry ma'am. we did not make it.'
these words ring in my head.
it makes me proud to have pple who hold on to the belief that they can do it even when the odds are against them. you did make it.. to me u did..
making it isn't just deemed as bringing up everything in that 720 secs.. its about team spirit.. and also quality.. there was both in this team.

to the other team..
success is sweet.. definitely..
good job done! your success belongs to every single one of you and to the ones who gave you the tips and prepared you.
u make me smile..
not with what you achieved..
but rather with your attitude..
your willingness to achieve things..
n your hunger to learn more..

kudos to the pple hu trained these two teams too!
mandy tan hu kept skipping classes..
gong toot who kept peeling cups after the trainings..
gui mei who cant wear pt kit currently.. =)
zak..
miss lau for all d constructive comments..
n of cos mdm lim for giving the green light for the numerous trainings despite the exams..!
the best OC i have ever seen!

thx to mr toh ming zhan, vivi and phillipine for coming down to support the teams..! =)

everyone rocks!! YEAHH!! (^^,)

i m so dead

an email can make ur day..
or totally break ur heart..
sighh..
in deep shit rite now..
gotta work my guts out on sat..
n extra extra hard on mon n tues..
if not i m totally gone case..
6 extra mths..
all for one thing which did me in..
sighhh...
can't let that happen..
not dat i mind d 6 mths..
but.. cant do dat to them..
gonna do wadever i can to ensure dat..
yupps! i can do it.. i hope..

y is it dat we dread going for something (so? am i supposed to go remind you of what to bring every week?!) hahaha
but keep thinking of it when we cant go for the same thing? (oh dear.. is there enough time? r u ok?) hahahahaha...
is it jus a case of d grass being greener on d other side?
or jus d feeling before the actual thing itself?
kinda amusing.. but..
well its not supposed to be dat way..
it shouldn't be.. but it is..
oh well... gotta try n learn d art of self motivation..

wad's up with pple and marriages nowadays?
i keep hearing pple toking bout it...
setting time limits for each other..
everyone's growing up it seems..
is dis what growing up is supposed to be?
sighh.. 2 decades..
what do i have to be reminded of?
what significant thing have i done?
or isit 20 yrs down d drain..?
hahaha =) no ans yet..

it seems jus like yest dat i was in sec sch.. (cliche rite.. hehe)
wearing my blue blue uniform..
looking kuku in a tie jus like everyone else..
arriving at 6 plus with di n nuan xin n long niu..
craping to bear bout how i hated everything in sec 2..
she kept saying i was a very depressed person..
hahha... guess very few can imagine me like dat now..
every recess spent thinking of how to escape life..
n d boring trecherous things it brought with it..
d plans we hatched to get landed in hospital..
sec 3 was leong sai hong.. haha duno y we kept saying out her full name..
it jus had a complete ring to it.. haha
met stella.. well more of became better frens since i already knew her before..
a changed me.. from the previous yr.. haha
and all dat rubbishy thing bout A*a**.. hahaha
stella noes what i'm tokign bout..
all d letter passing in class even tho we were jus 3 fingers away from each other..
darn funny.. d history textbook with a wig for everyone..
d songs we made bout goh jee meng and 'geoffry wong'
d white fountain.. and all dat tys.. hahahah..
romeo n juliet brings sweeter memories..
'oh happy dagger this is thy sheath.. rust there n let me die..'
sighh.. wad a pity i lost d books even before my 'O's..
chick-ass.. little yellow ducky... ferdi..
sighh.. too bad ferdi isn't teachign anymore..
neither is sithu.. all d packet fish nonsense..
d meeramon.. little devil.. all d amusing nicks he came up with..
i miss their lessons..SIGHHHHHH
we were a lucky class.. so many teachers got married while teaching 4/5
miss yong, miss low, mrs leong n another one dat i forgot..
still rmbr me n stella skipping d singathon to go buy baby clothes for leong sai hong..
hahaha.. those were d times..

jus had a chat with my mum n dad..
for like a couple of hrs..
i finally realise we never appreciate what we have till we are deprived of it..
like childhood.. or time.. or happiness..
it takes a reminencse of the past to make us realise that..
but sadly it is once again forgotten in d mere concentration n rush to do things in ours days of dis life..
things like these will and only be appreciated after its gone..

geisha!!

memoirs of a geisha is freaking c0ol!
i LURVE dat movie!!
starting with the script itself..
its so simple yet.. so deep in meaning

'Can't you see? Every step I have taken, since I was that child on the bridge, has been to bring myself closer to you. ' (sayuri)

d roleplaying was fabulous as well!
zhang ziyi was amazing playing sayuri!
all d way from ' d zoup iz too zalty' to this wonderful piece of art..
she has come along way!

'a true geisha can make a man notice her with just one look' (mameha)

mameha played by michelle yeoh was absolutely fantastic as well!
really brought out the feeling that she was looking out for sayuri...
elegant yet somehow motherly.. eloquoent yet somewhat adventurous in her ways..
throughout d entire movie there were these highlights to her hair.. gave a sorta angelic look from wad i perceived... nicee.. jus a particular line that seems to indicate that her story is also like that of sayuri's..

'We do not become Geisha to pursue our own destinies. We become Geisha because we have no choice' (mameha)

gong li roleplayed a perfect hateable person! hahaha..!! its very hard to do dat yet her act was so convincing... perfecto~~! d constant look in her eyes.. woah.. enough to make u feel like thowing something at her for doing so many things.. haha

ken watanabe from d last samurai was d chairman.. such a nice fella! haha... if everyone encounters a nice chairman who buys them a cone of shaved ice with cherry n sour plum flavours at least once in their lives.. i tink we won't be the same anymore..
makes me think that we don't have enough of such caring souls in d world anymore..
hu gives a hoot about a crying child nowadays.. at most they prob jus bring her to d information counter n dats it..

'It is too pretty a day to be so unhappy. Did you fall down? Why so shy? Nothing to be ashamed of, we all stumble from time to time.' (chairman)

okay ya.. i lurve d movie! hahaha n i have yet to read d book... shall do it one of this days.. geishas are so mysterious.. been fascinated by them since 3 yrs ago when i first saw a movie about them.. that was by ozu n another by kurosawa so kinda a little slow n boring but they were still cool!

'She paints her face to hide her face. Her eyes are deep water. It is not for Geisha to want. It is not for geisha to feel. Geisha is an artist of the floating world. She dances, she sings. She entertains you, whatever you want. The rest is shadows, the rest is secret.'(sayuri nitta)


okay enuf of d wunderful movie dat i still wanna watch again.. ahhahahha shall move on..

sch.. sighh.. had black & white photography jus now..
she's so biased man!!
how to do well like dat.. ahha die mann..
me n mei ping din present..
even tho we were done and had everything in an envelope all ready to submit..
becos we wud get all qns from her.. biased as usual..
so we forgo d presenting.. n well.. lost 10% of d marks cos of dat..
dumb rite.. but dats d sort of theings she drove us to do!
desperation.. die die dun wanna present to her..

0h wells..

=D

how old..?

well.. let me jus say that today was a 'young' day.. haahahah
firstly i was mistaken for a cadet.. not that i have anything against cadets..
its jus dat.. it means.. d person tot i was either 15 or younger!
oh goshh...

den after np i went to meet d rest at sch for meeting..
den dun0 y d topic became looking old/young..
me n ade were compared..
we look d same... like sec sch students..
0h mannn.. we r gonna be 20 for goodness sake!!
imagine.. going for a job interview in d future..
n d person asks..' r u sure u are above 16?'
i will burst out laffing for sure!!

ohh.. n ade, mei ping n rose asked me to do voice dubbing..
sure no prob.. guess whose voice i'm supposed to be playing?


come on..



guess...



dunoo?


i'm gonna be substituting jin ling..
for those blessed souls hu have n0 idea hu dat is..
jin ling is a character from my story for my final year project..
no 1 : its a chinese film..
no 2 : jin ling's character is a kid..
no 3 : jin ling is a 5 yr old kidd!!! *faints*
i have accepted d fact.. i have yet to grow up..

oh i tink yn can never be a first aider!
she shrieks at everything!
pple vomit she runs away..
pple turn up with bandaged finger n she goes 'eeee!'
hahahahahah!! mandy cut her finger tdy..
poor thing.. was bandaging it in np room..
had to redo it cos d bandage is seriously cannot make it kind..
there was no gauze.. hahaha.. budget first aid.. hehe..
could see d flesh n all.. she said can see d bone oso..
i din go poke n see cos scared it will be too painful for her..
yn shud have been there.. wahahahahahaahah!!!!!

not all know this.. i m a weird person..
i wana go to d hospital..
as in stay there for at least 2 days dat kind...
preferably with a broken arm or leg..
yups... i'm certified to be weird..
i conclude that getting hit by car in singapore is not exactly easy..
d drivers are actually scared of pedestrians.. they dun risk getting fines u see..
since sec 2 i've slowed down when crossing rds n tried walking very near cars..
but nothing ever has happened to me.. largely cos they slow down alot..
even when no one is crossing.. they jus go slow n look out for pple..
dats for those drivers i have encountered so far la..
there was dis bus tho.. haha.. totally my fault.. but well.. nth happened...
so yup.. i'm still waiting.. hahhaha.. dun be freaked out by me.. hahaha
its jus dat.. well.. somehow a hospital seems appealing to me...
prob cos there's where u really seem to have time all to yourself..
to think n just stone.. forced confinement in a way..
actually another reason is dat can jus go d baby nursery n look at d super duper cute tiny newborn earthlings..
wad a life rite.. i tink there are a few things i'll do..
1. sit n stone
2. slack n watch tv
3. sleeeppp...
4. stone n think again..
5. read a book or 2.. (CSI! yeah!)
6. write letters to pple
7. fold stars n fill up a big bottle sitting in my room
8. buy a colouring book n colour my time away! (d kid in me is surfacing!)
9. finish up d books dat i have read halfway..
10. go ard n play with kids!! (definitely will do!)

yups! dat's jus some things i will be doing.. if i ever get there.. hahahha
next time u find me irritating.. feel free to break my arm or jus push me down..
HAHAHAHAHA!!! dis is d weirdest request i've ever heard from anyone!
a bit like euthanasia don't u think.. jus dat i'm not asking to be killed..
just injuring me will do.. yupss!! =)

i lurve d m0on!!

one big thing finally over..
dat was d m0st major orientation i have seen or prepared for..!
but its over.. n that's all bout it..

now its time to let go i guess! yeahh..
yn shud understand.. hahaha.. break maybe..?
nahh.. shant abandon ya n0w.. i m nice..
dinner al0ne can be very sad.. hehe..

collating my hrs spent in cca for ngee ann records..
up to now ngee ann does not know that i actually have a cca..
can u believe it! hahaha!!
seeing alot of numbers.. irritating numbers..
gm was rite.. haha i hit 7 pages! dun0 if its accepted tho..
cos it kinda goes way back to like yr2003..! hahahaha
oh well.. if i get it den g0od.. if its not taken den t0o bad f0r me...
hahaha i lurve dis attitude man! it keeps stress away fr0m me!
but its n0t g0od of cos.. g0t lectured by my fren a day ago..
haha.. cos of my devil may care attitude.. wake up meera!

might be viewing d final edit 0f my fyp tmr..
supposed to but well.. its kinda n0t confirmed..
0h wells... not dat i have done much for it..
its all credited to heng mui peng.. hahha
she did all she could to save d f0otage we had..
hahaha.. p0or girl had t0 stay back alot..
sighh... i m redundant t0 d grp!! 0h mann!!
actually n0t yet... hahah still doing publicity kits for it..
posters n postcards n transcripts..
ade was asking me h0w t0 save d h0rrendous sound...
i have n0 idea.. n i really h0pe there's really 3 pple instead of d expected 2 doing the audio post..
it feels very bad t0 mark pple down.. worse still on d fyp!
pls pls pls pls pls do something..
n i haven received d research stuff i was supposed to as well..
argghh..!! g0ne gone gone..

been spending alot of time moongazing dis few nites..
firstly becos there's no stars to gaze at..
secondly cos the m0on is seriously very beautiful!!
its shining alot n0w..
i mean ya of cos it shines all the time.. but as in..
usually it jus illuminates itself.. like some yell0wish ball in d dark sky..
but n0wadays... its like.. something gl0wing very brightly in d skyy...
like.. like.. i dun0o.. like a halogen light!! s0mething like dat la.. haha
its jus s0o0o0o much brighter den other nites..!
its a very nice thing t0 watch actually..
but n0t when u r cr0ssing d road.. hehe.. d smart me did dat.. =)

i wanna ride a bike..
i WANNA ride a BIKEE!!
d bike on orientation was s0 c0ol.. t0o bad i was wearing a skirt!!
darnn!! if n0t i surely get on it le!! =(
haiiizzzz...

sigh

sighh..

nagging feeling that everything is not going right..
well.. its isn't.. how could it..
ah well.. have to rethink some things..
or shud i say many things..
y is this happening?


wad are my priorities n0w?
sch?j0b? np? m i sure of all this?
no i'm not... really wish to stop everything..
right now... but can i?
without any regrets at all? hahaha
definitely n0t!!!
wad to doo wad to do...


s0 much effort was put it in for less than 10 mins worth of attention..
almost 2 mths of preparation..
endless drill sessions..
might have been imperfectly done..
but nontheless, wonderfully done!
well done t0 one n all!
nth is perfect..
take pride in knowing that u did your best!


n0w its g0nna be a rat race..
to be called the best..
but i just wonder..
wad's d point in knowing all u need to know..
if u dun have the passion to want to know?
is this all there is?
memorising things till its perfectly in ur head?
wad's d point of it all? tell me wad's it all f0r?


wad's in a rank? its just something on your shoulder..
to make your uniform look nicer maybe..
to show your capability.. your strength..
to earn respect..
but its sad isn't it..?
that u need to depend on that one thing on your shoulder to get the respect u need..?
but that's how things seem to be now..
d only motivation to go further..
is d additional silver thread embroidery on the shoulder..
wad a sad world..


wadever happened to one for all, all for one?
d never say die spirit?
did it....... finally perish?
i really hope not..
i have demolished something..
its very hard to rebuild everything again..
i can try but.. there's no guarantee..
sorry to whoever understands..


ok.. sad entry..
hahaha.. but was too into the thinking mood..
n i probably think too much..
regreting a great many things rite n0w.. but..
its kinda t0o late n0w don't u tink? hahha..
0h well... colour my days grey...
tho silver wud be perfect.. but.. nth is perfect rite?
lalalalala..~

wheeee~~!

oh my.. its here..its tmr.. ahahah
i'm happy n hyper rite n0w..
ate a few bites of f0od.. my first meal of d day..
hahahha... but t0o happy t0 continue.. n t0o c0ld.. n hyper

wooohoooo!!
tdy was a hyper session.. hahaha shouting helps..
shall d0 that tmr.. *evil laff!*

impressive..!! w0ahh..
really impressed by a certain 2 individuals..
c0mmitment n passion shows through..
really happy.. yay yaayyy!!
keep it up!!


n t0 add m0re joy t0 my day..
haha n0rman sent an email..
n0 class tmr!! wo0ohoo0o0!!
yippeeee!! but will still need to g0 to return equipment tho..
hahah shall g0 read in d library f0r a while before going f0r training i suppose..

everything must g0 well...
everything will g0 well!
made t0 feel special tdy.. hahahaah
but its just part of n0rmal work..
except the taking of cabs..
i need to be banned from taking cabs..
i m giving them too much business..
imagine.. t0ok 3 cabs yest t0 b0rrow rifles..
t0ok one l0ng ride tdy all c0s of a cd..
hahahahha.. bye bye $$$.... *wave wave*

jean pls ans my qn.. hahah is it c0s of d pressure or wad?! hahahaha
rmbr t0 tell me d ans ok.. if n0t i will become d imposter again..
wahahahahaah.. d gulliable little kid..
really believed it wasn't me..
hahahah.. den again.. s0 did lee pin.. on btc nite..
oh wells.. turning into a prankster...
and a sadistic person as well..
ask yn.. she n0es.. hahah d sadistic me..

reflections..! =)

hOhOhO!!

bElAtEd mErRy cHrIsTmAs

aNd

hApPy hApPy nEwY yEaR!!!

been nearly a mth since my last post.. lemme go through roughly wat went on in my life..firstly CIBTC D05 .. an0ther new experience.. a very different outlook though.. some know the reason why.. ATC was fun.. as usual.. yeah!

Sec 1 BTC.. well d highlight was actually a big joke we played on princess.. haha! basically made her believe that gm was sick n in hospital jus so dat we cud meet her for breakfast d next day! super duper funny!

next up was christmas..! 21st was great! haha.. early celebration coordinated by mEeShaH cO and pTe lTd! hahaha!! d cute orange n red family! first bbq ever to be without chicken wings.. hahahahaha! n BBQed bread!!?! hahaha c0ol! i finally paid aishah her sandcastle.. tho i did a turtle in d end.. haha n a big foot! =)

all through this time was of course filled with np training 3 times a week.. hahaha busy person eh? hahaha.. becoming more and more slacky i'm afraid.. need to wake myself up! hahaha..

agm was a few days ago.. well.. got very very distracted i have to say.. hahahaha first time ever d whole table of us were chatting and taking pics and all other sorts of things! there were arguments as usual.. which we could have done without definitely.. we wud have gone h0me earlier! =) but well we din.. from a puny little gendeng cadet.. to a motherly (according to my dear cadets!) NCO of a sqd of nearly 40.. to a erm.. rather gone case trainee.. to a super blur ci in a brand new environment n world.. i got an eye to put after of my title.. an honour.. with costly prices to pay.. enjoyed it tho.. got great friends.. honestly among the best i could get.. got a few more eyes.. but still have bad vision.. =) till n0w was a content person with smurfy cadets who seem to resemble more n more cartoons.. or maybe its just me.. n0w a spokesperson thx to kr.. well sort of i guess.. great responsibilities.. very overwhelmed by d faith pple have in me that i cant seem to find within myself sometimes.. a single key can carry alot more weight that you and i could ever have tot of.. well.. i got that key as well.. m i lucky or wad.. hahahaha ..! next time if u see me becoming shorter.. its all becos of d things n roles on my shoulders..(^^,)

n0w i'm at h0me happily typing dis post away.. well i did have a bbq yest! haha n even d police were smiling and waving at us! hahahaha! d most impromptu one i ever did.. started shoping for the things at like 8pm! hahaha..! fun man! po0r little cousin of mine had to lug d big bag of charcoal ard n walk! hahhaha!! sometimes u enjoy it more if u jus go with your heart and not spend time worrying about it. a life lesson learnt from a bbq.. =D

oh! i started giving tuition dis week as well.. i m planning to be as nice as possible to dat kid provided he does wad i ask him to! if n0t he's g0nna get it man! *evil smirk*

a new year comes and we say good bye to all d things left behind in d past yr.. let me take this time to say a special thx.. u have been there right next to me every single day.. every waking moment.. u were always there... rain or shine.. u came with me.. u brightened up my dark nights.. den u had to go.. i hated letting u go but i had n0 choice.. u needed a break.. away from me.. from the violent handling by me.. now u are gone forever.. so i take this moment.. to say a big thank you to u... u have served me well my dear ex-phone.. i miss twirling u ard in the air.. ur replacement is fun but well.. not so twirlable as u.. u were d best! rest in peace.. till someone else buys u that is..

i rmbr one year ago on this date.. i was chatting with lp... n wishing each other happy new yr.. haha.. n in d morning.. we went to hq.. for what u may ask.. well we were there to help with the packing.. for the tsunami victims.. it was fun to be there with friends.. but heartbreaking definitely.. esp when i was folding those little baby clothes and tiny socks n mittens.. n toys as well.. i wonder how the receipients are now.. if it was of any use to them..

every yr comes and goes.. i shall show appreciation to the wonderful things i have in my life here today.. firstly my family.. doting dad.. friend-like mum.. great bro.. n of cos a cousin hu makes me feel very influential.. whatever i dun like he doesn't like n wat i say is nice is amazing to him.. hahaa .. friends.. dun0 wad i wud have done without u pple.. m0st of them wud never read dis.. but well.. thx loads for being a great part of my life.. to gui mei.. for helping me out s0 much dis yr esp d atc.. to mz.. was very fun planning with ya.. ur stress is over..n our couple phones are gone.. s0 sad.. to qiwen.. super funny guy! wunnerful partner.. could not have asked for more.. got scolded by me quite a number of times.. hahaha.. hu ask him to drink so much.. had our funny moments in d mornings of the camp which i will never forget.. hahaha! to yn.. for being there for me to bully so much.. now she has learnt some bullying skills already... darn.. but still cann0t win me! hahaha.. to aishah,murni n lp.. esp for d waiting outside hq.. s0 sweet of them.. to irfah.. u get cranky when u dun have enuf slp.. haha but really learnt endurance from ya.. sorry for leaving ya alone quite a number of times! jia you! stella, inez, ain, bear, hajar... haven met up with u guys for some time le.. jus d memory of ur face is enuf to bring a smile to my face... those were d days.. we were so young.. to jean.. u are one sweet kid! i still rmbr u trying to cheer me up when u realised i was down.. till d wee hrs of the m0rning even.. thx alot! =) to all who tolerated my nonsense both online n offline..to whoever managed to see me in a pissed off mood.. i'm very sorry.. din mean for it to happen tho i dun rmbr it happening.. hahaha.. n of course to d one n only lappie! without it i wun be doing all this now! u r a c0ol laptop! yeah!

i bid 2005 goodbye.. n say hello to 2006.. along with it comes great responsibilities and trials.. jus tink u can do it and u will do it! jia you to everyone!