i m so dead

an email can make ur day..
or totally break ur heart..
sighh..
in deep shit rite now..
gotta work my guts out on sat..
n extra extra hard on mon n tues..
if not i m totally gone case..
6 extra mths..
all for one thing which did me in..
sighhh...
can't let that happen..
not dat i mind d 6 mths..
but.. cant do dat to them..
gonna do wadever i can to ensure dat..
yupps! i can do it.. i hope..

y is it dat we dread going for something (so? am i supposed to go remind you of what to bring every week?!) hahaha
but keep thinking of it when we cant go for the same thing? (oh dear.. is there enough time? r u ok?) hahahahaha...
is it jus a case of d grass being greener on d other side?
or jus d feeling before the actual thing itself?
kinda amusing.. but..
well its not supposed to be dat way..
it shouldn't be.. but it is..
oh well... gotta try n learn d art of self motivation..

wad's up with pple and marriages nowadays?
i keep hearing pple toking bout it...
setting time limits for each other..
everyone's growing up it seems..
is dis what growing up is supposed to be?
sighh.. 2 decades..
what do i have to be reminded of?
what significant thing have i done?
or isit 20 yrs down d drain..?
hahaha =) no ans yet..

it seems jus like yest dat i was in sec sch.. (cliche rite.. hehe)
wearing my blue blue uniform..
looking kuku in a tie jus like everyone else..
arriving at 6 plus with di n nuan xin n long niu..
craping to bear bout how i hated everything in sec 2..
she kept saying i was a very depressed person..
hahha... guess very few can imagine me like dat now..
every recess spent thinking of how to escape life..
n d boring trecherous things it brought with it..
d plans we hatched to get landed in hospital..
sec 3 was leong sai hong.. haha duno y we kept saying out her full name..
it jus had a complete ring to it.. haha
met stella.. well more of became better frens since i already knew her before..
a changed me.. from the previous yr.. haha
and all dat rubbishy thing bout A*a**.. hahaha
stella noes what i'm tokign bout..
all d letter passing in class even tho we were jus 3 fingers away from each other..
darn funny.. d history textbook with a wig for everyone..
d songs we made bout goh jee meng and 'geoffry wong'
d white fountain.. and all dat tys.. hahahah..
romeo n juliet brings sweeter memories..
'oh happy dagger this is thy sheath.. rust there n let me die..'
sighh.. wad a pity i lost d books even before my 'O's..
chick-ass.. little yellow ducky... ferdi..
sighh.. too bad ferdi isn't teachign anymore..
neither is sithu.. all d packet fish nonsense..
d meeramon.. little devil.. all d amusing nicks he came up with..
i miss their lessons..SIGHHHHHH
we were a lucky class.. so many teachers got married while teaching 4/5
miss yong, miss low, mrs leong n another one dat i forgot..
still rmbr me n stella skipping d singathon to go buy baby clothes for leong sai hong..
hahaha.. those were d times..

jus had a chat with my mum n dad..
for like a couple of hrs..
i finally realise we never appreciate what we have till we are deprived of it..
like childhood.. or time.. or happiness..
it takes a reminencse of the past to make us realise that..
but sadly it is once again forgotten in d mere concentration n rush to do things in ours days of dis life..
things like these will and only be appreciated after its gone..